Songs By Vampires
by Jessica Marie Cullen
Summary: Yep, Vampires are going American Idol, but the songs aren't regular songs, their made to fit the character who's singing it's situation. Every chapter is different. Suggestions are greatly recommended. One-shots. Vampires! Post BD. Only Cullens.


**Emmett singing: "She's Pissed at Me" to the tune of "Don't Trust Me" by 3OH!3.****All characters in this story are Vampires, there is not a Lemon in this one-shot, but there might be Lemons in further stories.**

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**Author's Note: Have fun reading this. The best way to enjoy the song with the different words is to look up the original song and listen to it while reading it. Enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: Sorry, this ain't the real Stephanie Meyers, all the characters belong to her, I just like playing with them...(whoa, that sounded way wrong...)**

**Onwardith to the story!**

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"Come on Babe, please?" I asked, thinking about why the hell Rosalie wouldn't just have sex with me.

"No, you ruined my mirror!" She said clearly pissed.

I had a flashback of what had happened earlier, and stopped myself from chuckling. That would definitely piss her off more than she already was.

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_Flashback - About 10 minutes earlier._

_I was playing paintball with Jasper in Rosalie and my room. Since we were vampires we figured we could clean up everything quickly. _

_I was about to nail Jasper upside the head when I heard Esme yell for us to stop. I hadn't moved, but I shot without looking. I thought I could show off my awesome skills, but it missed and hit Rosalie's mirror. With a definite crack, it broke in two. _

_I knew I was screwed, so I tried gluing it back together before Rose got back from her hunting trip with Bella. They were having some bonding time or some shit like that. But whatever the reason they were out, I freaked out and tried to find the hot glue gun. _

_I thought I had everything in the bag, but Rosalie came home right when I finished the crack. It looked like it hadn't been broken, but it had paintball stains everywhere and I knew I was screwed because as soon as Rose saw the paint stains, she screeched loud enough that it would have broken a humans eardrums. _

"_Emmett! What the hell were you thinking?" She said, if she was human, her face would have been beat red._

"_I wasn't." I said looking down. I knew it wasn't the time, but I figured it always made everything better for Rosie. "You wanna take out your frustrations in sex?"_

_She looked at me like I had grown two heads and 5 eyes and then said, "When hell freezes over."_

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And it's come full circle.

"All I'm saying is, it could help." I said, trying to reason with her. I knew Rose better than that, but I still had to try. I didn't want to lose my head, literally.

"The hell it won't. It's not going to fix my mirror is it – and what the fuck is this?" She said 'fuck'. We're getting there. I smiled to myself as Rose looked at what she was pointing at.

I tried to focus in on what she was pointing at. It was the hot glue gun that I had used to glue the mirror back together.

"A hot glue gun." I said, trying not to laugh at myself. I sounded like Edward when he was caught peeking at Bella in the shower. Boy that shit is funny.

"I know what the fuck it is; I'm asking why the hell is it in here – no. You didn't." She said looking at me with the scariest expression I had ever seen. And that's saying something because nothing scares me.

I gulped. "I did."

She lunged at me, but I jumped out of the way and did the only thing I had left to use to get Rosalie to calm down. I began to sing her favorite song, (which she didn't know I knew) only I tweaked it so it fit our obvious position.

_"Red dress, with no underwear underneath,  
You've got the breath of the last grizzly bear on your teeth.  
And you're an actress (actress), but you ain't got no need.  
You've got money from our parents in a blue bag back home._

_T-T-tongues always pressed to your cheeks.  
While my tongue is on the inside of your blood coated teeth.  
And tell the man whore (man whore), who says he can beat up me,  
That I'm a vegetarian, and I ain't fucking scared of him._

_She wants to touch me (wahoo).  
She wants to fuck me (wahoo).  
She'll never leave me (wahoo, wahoo hoo hoo).  
I want an encore. I need an encore.  
Gonna get my encore 'cause she's pissed at me_

_She wants to touch me (wahoo).  
She wants to fuck me (wahoo).  
She'll never leave me (wahoo, wahoo hoo hoo).  
I want an encore. I need an encore.  
Gonna get my encore 'cause she's pissed at me_

_Venom is my only smart choice,  
To get you to understand that I meant no harm,  
And the condoms (condoms) human's usually use,  
I will never have to open the package for you._

_S-s-sexual frustration  
Build up will get the best of you,  
And you'll resort to (resort to) what you'd never think of,  
Probably you'll do mucho masturbation._

_She wants to touch me (wahoo).  
She wants to fuck me (wahoo).  
She'll never leave me (wahoo, wahoo hoo hoo).  
I want an encore. I need an encore.  
Gonna get my encore 'cause she's pissed at me_

_She wants to touch me (wahoo).  
She wants to fuck me (wahoo).  
She'll never leave me (wahoo, wahoo hoo hoo).  
I want an encore. I need an encore.  
Gonna get my encore 'cause she's pissed at me_

_Shush girl, shut your lips.  
Just come onto me and grind with your hips.  
I said shush girl, shut your lips.  
Just come onto me and grind with your hips.  
I said shush girl, shut your lips.  
Just come onto me and grind with your hips._

_She wants to touch me (wahoo).  
She wants to fuck me (wahoo).  
She'll never leave me (wahoo, wahoo hoo hoo).  
I want an encore. I need an encore.  
Gonna get my encore 'cause she's pissed at me_

_She wants to touch me (wahoo).  
She wants to fuck me (wahoo).  
She'll never leave me (wahoo, wahoo hoo hoo).  
I want an encore. I need an encore.  
Gonna get my encore 'cause she's pissed at me"_

By the time I was done, Rosalie had given in and was kissing viciously down my neck.

I should start using that technique more often.

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**Author Note: So, I worked really hard on the remake of the song, and I know the story for the song is sort of short and everything, but this is the first chapter, and the other chapters will get longer. The best way to find out about the rest of the songs and who will be singing them, you should review and maybe you might just find out who will be singing a song next chapter!**

**Oh, and just to let anyone who's reading this and are readers of my other story Memories, I will be updating, but it's just I'm stuck on what's to happen next, I have an idea, but I keep getting these ideas I gotta put down, and updates will come sooner since I'm out for Summer! Whoo!**


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